There are literally dozens of things to do with losing betting tickets, everything from littering the racetrack, to littering your neighborhood bus stop. Here are a few uses that I have come up since I have had my fair share of losses.
10. Dental Floss — Fold in half and this will pick out any number of food substances from apple peels to popcorn kernels.
9. Coaster — Keeps nasty water rings off that new coffee table from Ikea ... Ok, Target ... Ok, Walmart ... Fine! From a yard sale. "Did you put gum under your own coffee table?" "No, but apparently its previous owners did."
8. Roughage — No explanation needed.
7. Tissue Square — If and only if you're a 23-foot tall giant and you cut yourself shaving.
6. Writing down phone numbers of girls who will never call you back. "What does that say about me if you're writing my number on a losing ticket?" "Uh ... uh ... uh ... " "That's what I thought. Any winners there?" "You know the answer to that."
5. Showing your parents what a waste college was.
4. Teach kids how to read.
3. Losing ticket? You may be holding the synthetic racing track of the future!
2. A reminder of how bad you are at handicapping.
1. A reminder of how bad you are at everything.
Of course the last one was going to be cryptic. For me, it always boils down to that last one.
Anyone know a good therapist?
Have any other reasons? Let me know!